Mr. Snrub's 2009 Official SHITLIST!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year....

Sorry. Been busy lately...haven't been able to post a helping of bullshit for y'all.

Time for the SHITLIST.....these are items, things, people, whutnaughts that have made my end of year list for Shit that Pisses Me Off....

It's not, necessarily, for anything done specifically in 2009, but, just in general.

Here we go:

* Drivers Tailgating my Ass - Maybe it's a sign of age, but, hey - Move the fuck BACK, Andretti. I know you're in a biiiiig hurry to get home and beat your wife, but, I have to watch out for the other assholes speeding up to stop signs making it necessary for me to 'guess' if they're going to actually STOP or not. So, we're both going to have to take it down a few MPH's....

* Football Meatheads - I love love LOVE football. But, the media, players and coaches actually involved in the games are starting to make me reconsider my viewing habits. You can't turn on the radio without an excruiating dissection of every...fucking....player...and....play...in the last Bears game. It's beyond ludicrious now.

Then, there is the absolute travesty called the BCS in college football. It has done the nearly impossible - it has empowered sportswriters to the point where they can actually dictate who gets to play for championships. I can't believe I just typed that - and that it's 100% true. That. Is. GAWD-awful. Think about it - the likes of Jay Marriotti, Rick Telander, Blogger McGee, .com Ferguson and Website smart-ass McGilligutty all get to parade useless, lazy opinion into the world and the rest of the voters get to extract their limited information from those articles.

And, of course, the never-ending use of the word 'football', 'you talk about', and 'when you talk about'.....I can't do this.

* The "Birthers" - seriously. Do I have to go on?

* People That Don't Know Music Earlier Than 1983, Yet Think They Know Music - I'm just about done with this topic, but, dammit, it keeps popping up. Overheard some loud-talking, hipster lovebirds having a conversation about over-rated rock bands....and these bastards actually mentioned The Who. I'll say it again....the Who. Over-rated....um. Okay. Eat me.

Of course, Iwas about to say something, but, instead, I listened further. The guy says, "the only song I liked by them was...".....wait for iiiiiiit........"Teenage Wasteland"!!

Yep. I figured any argument with these mental music giants was a waste of my time. Such experts on music that they couldn't even get the title right. Dunces.

Speaking of mental music giants.............(see below)

* Sting - I'm done with this colossal bore of a musician. Jesus. I was at a Borders today and they were playing his (I assume) latest offering of ether-producing musical puke. Good GOD he's fucking boring. It's gone from irritation to downright hatred for me. It ruined my mood. FUCK you, Sting, and your self-indulgent, smug, trying-to-be-different-for-the-sake-of-it asshole music. Time to hang it up and open that B&B.

* People CONSTANTLY Bitching about the Weather - Know what? Move. I know it sucks. Pointing it out to me does nothing for me. It's like telling me I have a nose. No shit? It's cold? Expecting palm trees to grow in Chicago this Christmas season? I can understand a couple of 'whew! It's nasty!' comments, but, there are people that just won't let up about it and continue to monitor the five day forecast to tell me how awful it's going to get. Get a life.

* TMZ - wow. I got a load of this powerhouse of journalism finally. I had only caught bits and pieces of this television show because it was on after the Simpsons and, sometimes, I forgot to switch the channel.

"Wow, bro. These guys are SO cool and just, whoa! Hey, dude, they're just hangin' out! What a kick-ass, happenin' laidback place to work! I wish I had a boss that just, ya' know, was totally all 'whatever' and sipped his drink from a big plastic cup, cracked jokes, and writes ideas on a whiteboard (!?!?) about celebrities and, like, talks about whatever....and, like, tells me if stars walking through an airport said something, like, 'what's up?' to the camera guy!"

Riveting. Thanks for keepin' it real.

* Comedy in America - It's dying, folks. Not dead, but, dying.

From 1975 to around 1997-ish, Saturday Night Live was generally considered the Best of the Best when it came to comics in this country. Just a load of talent was on that show.

It just seems that now, the talent is just so......mediocre. You mean to tell me that, in this country, the absolute BEST comic you can get to read Weekend Update is....Seth Meyers?!? I'm sure he's a nice guy, but, come on. Really? He might even be funny as shit 'in the room'. I dunno. All I can say is he just seems like the guy all the girl comics find adorable and funny and cute and 'Chicago'-y and hiLARious at the dinner table.

It's not fair to single out SNL, but, to me, it's a pretty good barometer of where comedy is in general. Not always, but, usually. And, now, the barometer is looooooooow humidity.

Thank God for 'Modern Family'.

aaaaand....that's all for now. I'm sure I'll think of others.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year...in JAIL!

Oooooh, bruddha....

Ron Paul with a 'W'.

Seriously? Bernanke said this shit with a straight face?

"Now more than ever, America needs a strong, nonpolitical and independent central bank with the tools to promote financial stability and to help steer our economy to recovery without inflation," Bernanke wrote...

NON-political? The Federal Reserve? Holy Mother Shit on a Cracker with Cheese!!!!! And, oh yeah, Fed, you had nothing to do with inflation in the first place, right?

"The government's actions to avoid financial collapse last fall -- as distasteful and unfair as some undoubtedly were -- were unfortunately necessary to prevent a global economic catastrophe that could have rivaled the Great Depression in length and severity, with profound consequences for our economy and society," he wrote.

I'm looking for the part where Bernanke mentions the Fed's involvement in CREATING the fucking financial collapse?!?!

GodDAMN, I'm hot about this one.

It's one thing to say that the Federal Reserve has a place in the financial landscape. It's quite another to say that it should have free reign and no oversight whatsoever. What in the fuck is this? How can that fucker say that oversight and an audit of practices of one of the most corrupt and FAILING institutions in government is above scrutiny?!!?

What kills me - absolutely KILLS me - is in the same exact commentary, he cites that firms should be monitored and held to account, but, then, argues that the Fed Reserve should not adhere to the same standard.

Absolute bullshit. How come the only person standing up to these pricks in Ron Paul? I'm not even saying that Paul is 100% correct, but, he's the only one I've heard even questioning the role of Bernanke and the Fed.

And, I'd guess that this type of thing garners the interest of 5% of the U.S. population whilst clicking on Adam Lambert's gay kiss on the AMA's garners 90%. Just fucking sad.

Thanks

Thanksgiving and all that...

Time to think about a few things I'm thankful for, right? Apart from the wife, family, friends, dog, etc., of which I am immensely thankful, there is no reason for anyone to read my blog to find that out. So! I'm going to list things outside that realm as I find it more interesting to read:

1) Thanks to those who give....Spent a Saturday at a food pantry. Want a reality check? Go there and watch the humanity line up for food and supplies. It's humbling in a way I can't possibly describe. I'm thankful for the workers out there that get paid diddly-squat, yet, dedicate their lives and careers to helping others - and for those who in need who showed up with an attitude that would make Richard Simmons ashamed. Unreal positivity in the face of adversity. Inspiring, to say the least. I did a very very small part in this endeavor and I'm a richer person for it.

2) Thanks to the garbage men, burger-flippers and janitors. I find it disturbing that many people consider this menial labor and make jokes about 'flipping burgers', etc. as if it's the mark of a loser. Fuck that action.

If the garbage stopped getting picked up, those people would stop laughing and start shitting their pants. If the school wasn't mopped, cleaned and prepared for the parent's precious little gremlins, they'd run around like Curly Stooge wondering what to do with their kiddies for the week. And, burger-flippers work harder than anybody else in this God-forsaken country.

Making fun of someone's job, in this economy, is about as low as you can go, in my book.

3) Thanks to anyone in a billing department that has a fucking empathetic heart. Seriously, I've been dealing with insurance companies, medical facilities, credit cards, etc....for the past few months. Whenever I get someone on the line that is kind and understanding, it makes the whole idea of paying them a whole lot easier to swallow. Otherwise, if someone is short and curt, I'll keep my money for another day and give the commission, if necessary, to someone else.

4) Any company that actually calls you back on a job inquiry. Going to get a new gig and a HUGE reason is that this company showed interest in me, called me back, didn't wait for three weeks to set up an interview, reviewed my history, background checked in a day. didn't have me go back on the internet and fill out some bogus forms, and, ultimately, pursued me. Done and done. I'm starting to work again soon. Thanks.

5) Iowa Hawkeye Football.....oh, these past few months have been rough, but, at least, my favorite team in the world was winning games and making things exciting.

So far...that's the short list.

For the 100th Time...

Just so you know...

The Cleveland Browns fucking INVENT ways to lose games. It's actually gone from overly frustrating to downright comical.

I mean, Detroit throws a 'Hail Mary' with no time remaining, down by six points, and our safeties decide to SHOVE THE FUCKING RECEIVERS TO THE BACK OF THE END ZONE WHILE THE GODDAMNED BALL IS IN THE AIR!!!! Pass interference, ball placed on the one yard line with no time on the clock.

Then, Matt Stafford, in an acting job that would make Kirk Gibson look like an Oscar winner, gets his shoulder separated on the play. The Lions trot Dante Culpepper out to run the final play.

but...
THE BROWNS CALL A TIMEOUT to give them a chance to put their starting QB back in the game! Fucking Culpepper hadn't taken a snap in weeks, but, we call a timeout, give them time to design a play, and guess what? Stafford comes back in (all that was needed was corny heroic NFL Films music to go along with it...) and throws a TD to a wide-open fat ass.

38-37 Detroit wins....and, I won't even TALK about the fact that the Browns passed on 3rd and 5 with a 6 point lead with 1:59 left in the game with Detroit having no timeouts.

I guess Mangini IS a Belichick clone after all.

Jesus.

Far Be It For Me....

Okay, I'm actually gonna do it....

I'm going to defend Charlie Weis. (kinda) Can't really believe it, but, here we are.

ND's disappointing last few years - whose fault is it? How about the administration that fired Bob Davie, Tyrone Willingham and gave an OBNOXIOUS extension to an obnoxious guy? Hm? Any culpability, there Domers? Nah. It's Charlie's fault.

I'm sorry, but, Notre Dame is still the top college coaching job in America. Fuck Florida, fuck Michigan, fuck LSU, fuck Alabama, fuck Ohio State, fuck IOWA for that matter.....it's Notre Dame. Most tradition, most money, best glory, easiest recruiting, best....everything. It's the Yankees of NCAA football. And, it's not even close.

I used to hate ND with a white-hot anger normally reserved for terrorists (or Samantha Harris). Now, I've known far too many friends that went there and it's lessened my hatred to a slow boil. However, if Iowa ever plays them, you can forget that last sentence.

So, should Weis be fired? Probably. But, what really has changed since they signed him to that incredibly irresponsible contract extension? Not much. He's still the same guy. The only thing is - and I give him credit for having the balls to say it - he admitted that he was 'learning on the job'. Hooooly shiiiit, you don't say that when you're getting paid that much dough and in charge of ND football. You just don't.

That said, Neil Hayes has a pretty good take on it in the SunTimes. I disagree, however, that he should leave Weis hanging during the rest of this season. Why wait a week after? Is something going to drastically change his opinion in the final two games? The answer is 'no'. Jack Swarbrick (the AD) has made up his mind. If he wanted Charlie back, he'd have said it by now. The dreaded 'vote of confidence' aside, he'd make the announcement.

I think it's unfair to Weis to not let him know. Even if it's in private. The guy is an alum of ND, came in a bit smug, got his ass handed to him and now, has to try and prepare his team for two more games - likely his last.

Cut the cord. Let him go be offensive coordinator somewhere he can do some legit damage. As much as I like Ken O'Keefe at Iowa, I'd fire him faster than lightning if Weis was available. Just sayin'.

THIS is all you need to know...



It's Garry Shandling's Show is out on DVD. God be praised.

But, I can't find it anywhere in any actual store. I think you have to buy it online. What the hell is that all about? Jesus. I'm getting tired of not being able to physically walk into a store, find a DVD/CD of something, go up to an human and purchase with cash. I know I sound old, but, I'm makin' an effort, here, gang! I've gotten off my fat ass to buy something at your fucking store and you're making me go BACK home and give you personal info on the EVER-SO-secure internet.

Then, again, you ask me 500 personal questions at the damn checkout counter anyway, maybe, I should expect it. "Are you on our ______ list?", "what is your zip code?", "would you like a free subscription to _____"?, "Did you find everything all right?", "Would you like to sign up for _____?", "Are your testicles on fire?".....and it goes on like this.

Just let me pay my $135 for DVD/Blue-Ray/whateverthefuckothersoontobeobsoleteformat and let me go enjoy it.

I can't wait to show this to friends. They'll have no idea what hit 'em. Most underrated show ever. Hands down.